Veil

It's 1:11 in the morning here. I'm not tired and I'm really trying to be tired.

I haven't written here in a long time. Hell, I haven't written in a long time.

I received a promotion at work recently. I wish I could say that that's why I haven't written. My company was bought out by another, so I've been working for the last two or more years to make that conversion happen more smoothly for everyone.

I am in love. I am still in love with the girl of my dreams. And she loves me too. I mean, she actually loves me. I no longer wonder why she loves me. I no longer think "She's gonna wake up" and realise I was only a stop along the way. No, she actually loves me and I know it and I know why.

I think I stopped writing because what rested inside scared me at the time. All I saw at the time I was falling in love with writing, was the grain.

Do you know what I mean?

I saw the underside of leaves on trees I passed. Not just saw the leaf, but the veins and the patterns the sun made through them. I saw old men with creases in their faces who smiled at me like they knew me and realised I smiled first. Everything was sensual to me. My senses were on the surface and I wasn't sure what to do about it but confess.

I want only to see it all again. This time through a veil of passion and compassion for someone who grounds me. I floated for so long.

I want to remove the veil; tethered to the earth through the thread we've wound together.

She lets me fly when I want.