Weightless

Lately I'm having trouble walking. I limp like an old lady I saw and laughed at once. I laughed because she was shaped like the letter "L" walking down the sidewalk. I was very young and convinced I would never walk like that.

Now though, for the time being I walk like she walked that day. If I saw her now I would apologise. Not because I want absolution from this pain or the way I look walking down the street, but because I was so stupid.

This morning I was hobbling to work in the dark and the rain and I was thinking about the way it feels to walk when you know you're in love. But then I started thinking about all the other times I felt like I was walking on air. I mean, does it only happen when you think you're in love that you feel weightless? Sometimes I felt like I was walking on air whenever I found something no one else could see, like a rock shaped like a heart in the ocean, or met a stranger who told me fantastic stories.

Why does it feel so light and airy when things are discovered? Once I found a leaf shaped like a musical note. Exactly like an eighth note. You should've seen my face and felt my pulse that day! I saved it and didn't show it to anyone for fear of losing that light feeling discovery. I was a firm believer that certain things didn't really exist until you shared them, but after I found that leaf I just didn't have the words to explain what it felt like. It was selfish but also self-preserving.

Someone once told me that no one can see the world the way I do. No one can see the world the way the other person does. Being in love, being debt-free, watching the top of the trees in the wind, it doesn't mean the same to you as it does to me.

But this weightless feeling of love, of secrecy, of contemplation - at least you know what I'm talking about.